Donughts are the Devil....

Well at least that is what I said this morning. Tomorrow it is a lady here at works birthday and they brought donughts in....I had to pretend they are the Devil that way I will stay away from them.....even though I know I can have one if I really wanted to flex my points but I have other things I would rather have and the donught really didn't even look that good. I made a breakthrough.....haha!! All in all I have decided like I said in a previous post that everything really does revolve around food. I am certainly an emotional eater and read in Confessions of a + sized girls blog about a book called "A guide to compulsive eating" by Geneen Roth, I am thinking of checking it out. I also read that several other people have read books by her including "Breaking Free from Emotional Eating". I know alot of people don't watch the show Ruby because of course she is going to lose weight having a trainer and all the tools at her fingertips but I believe that she is a real person with real struggles. I can relate to her emotional eating habits because I am the same way.....if I am having a bad day I turn to food, if I am mad about something I turn to food. I am starting to overcome those struggles but that is just it they are struggles and as long as I pick myself up from those struggles then eventually I will no longer struggle with them. Every day is a new day and with new days come new challenges it is just the way life is. :) Well I am glad I didn't cave for the donught...... Go Me! I didn't make it to Zumba last night, to much drama going on at home but I am going to go next week Tuesday. Saturday is out because it is during the time I am getting my hair did..... I really want to go!!! Until next time:)

4.8 - - Setbacks = GAME ON!

So I am down 4.8 lbs since I started this journey. I have had a few set backs but GAME ON now! I am switching my meeting nights however. Monday nights the leader just isn't a "GREAT" leader. I really like the Thursday night meetings and the lady is Awesome....she is like a bohemian woman .... she doesn't shave and it is freaking me out, but she is great at what she does and motivating me. I think the class being full helps also because there is so much more insight then the Monday night meetings. I have made up my mind I am switching nights! :) I feel pretty good about my loss though. I have only been going to meetings for 3 weeks and last night was my 3rd meeting. So I am excited about that. I now just need to go and stock up on some groceries this weekend so that I have healthy snacks around the house instead of the normal junk food that used to be in the house. I love snacking on fruits, I just need to keep them in the house....I did good the first week and had fruit all over....but we ate it all. :( I think I ate so much fruit that I am surprised I didn't turn into one.
I can't wait till this day is over..... I am also waiting for my son to take a nap. I am lucky though because I get to work from home on Monday's however this week I needed to work from home today so I am able to. I love being able to work from home....I have decided though that you have to really be dedicated to work from home. It is so hard to sit at the computer for 8 hours during the day when you have laundry, cooking, cleaning and other things to do. I could be doing a lot of things besides sitting here cleaning out my emails.... wait I am doing something I am writing this blog! But if you catch my drift then you know what I mean tha working from home is difficult. Well I guess I should get back to work and hope that soon my son will take a nap and realize I only have until 2:30 and then I am off for the weekend! I can't wait to see what this weekend will bring, hopefully it will be a fun and eventful weekend....until next time. :)

Why is it so freaking COLD!!!!

I am freezing! Yes that is right....downright cold. I swear this place I work in can never get it right, dress for winter in the summer....dress for summer in the winter. I mean who wears a coat inside the office when it is 90 + degrees outside.... ME...yep that is right ME..... WTF? So today has started out as a pretty good day. I went to the gas station this morning and bought me a big huge Ice Tea! Yum, my favorite drink.... I think I drink 2 of these 44oz drinks every day. :) This morning I left my Zune in my car and had to go get it....I can't stand not having something to listen to during the day. My Zune is my savior I have decided.....I don't know what I would do without it. I love listening to it at work and in my car and when I am walking at night..( haha) I need to start doing that walking. I nedd to get in the groove and find a workout that works for me. Has anyone heard about Zumba? A girl at work highly recommends it and says that you will never get bored once you start doing it because it is always new and fun. I am thinking about trying it sometime next week. I will let you know what I think and if it is worth it. I am excited today is my last day in the office and then I get to be home for the next 4 days - 2 of them I will be working, but working from home and there is nothing better than working from home. I love it, I can get things done like laundry on my breaks/lunch and I get to listen to the television. I think the only thing that is bad about working from home is when there is nice weather and you would rather be doing anything outside then working.... I am also sad as our pool closes next weekend....that is a sign that Summer is almost over and that Winter is on its way...however it is also a sign that I am getting closer to my Vacation that I have planned next year. I am way excited for it...... I will write more on that in another post. Need to get back to work..... Peace Out! :)

I am tired of being a Victim...

I have decided I am tired of being a victim. I feel like I am a victim to a lot of things but I am mostly a victim of food. I am cheated by myself because I feel that anytime I get emotional or have stress in my life I turn to food. It is like a drug to me, I can see how people can get addicted to drugs.... because I am addicted to food and I don't think there really is any difference. When I am sad I feel like eating, when I am happy I feel like eating...it is like anything we do revolves around food. Holidays, birthdays, parties....everything revolves around food. I have become a victim...not because I wanted to be a victim but because I allow myself to be a victim. I need to decide that I will no longer allow myself to be this victim. I had a few set backs over the past weekend and it really threw me for a loop and then yesterday I had some dental work and got sick....ugh have I told anyone lately how much I hate going to the dentist?? I only have to go back a few more times and then the dental work will be over.
So my goal is to get healthy, quit letting food dictate what I do and how I live. Change the things in my life that potentially drag me into this rut.... I want to be happy with me and sometimes that is a challenge in itself. I can do this I know I can....my mind is set and I need to quit having these crazy set backs and these crazy arguements with myself. This is my life, my only life and I need to make the best of it and live life to the fullest. :)

Chinese Food is EVIL!

So I have decided today that Chinese food is "EVIL" yes that is what I think. I mean take this Orange Chicken for example..... today it was calling me..... I know you want me, I mean look at me I am so Hot and good for you.... Ugh! I caved!! I know shoot me..... I guess dinner tonight will be lettuce and spinach.... and then a good kick me in the Ass workout after..... :) I know I can't deprive myself of certain things but I could have the will power to think about my choices a little longer, right across from the Chinese place was Subway but I had that for lunch yesterday. Back to the drawing board, back to bringing lunch from home - the smart thing I have done for almost the last 2 weeks. If I don't have a plan that is when I end up failing.....today I didn't have a plan. I planned yesterday to go to Subway....from the minute I got up I was going to Subway...but today I didn't know what I was going to do. I am accountable for the Orange Chicken and I figured out the points - SKYROCKET amount....but I still have the rest of today and tomorrow is a new day on my path to success.... I can do this I have the will power, I just need to make it happen. I do better when I bring my food from home. I just need to make it happen...one step at a time.

My Crazy Weekend .... Weigh in Day!

Wow! This weekend was so Crazy! I went out with some friends from work on Saturday night. We were going to a Social Club for one of my Co-Workers birthday parties...... I ended up taking my friend Kenny with me who is so much fun to hang with and I was so happy that he went. We went to one club which was sort of boring not much happening so the girls from work decided to go somewhere else. Kenny and I didn't really want to drive that far and neither did one of my other friend so we decided to go to another place. We ended up at a place called Oscar's can I just tell you I don't really like making fun of people but what the hell are people wearing these days? I swear the way some of these people were dressed it was hard not to laugh at them. There was a girl with a levi skirt I swear she must have gotten in the 80's...it buttoned up the front and she had matching boots....flat boots....she also had her shirt tucked in to this skirt...it was horrible...she should have checked the mirror before leaving the house. It was a crazy place and more people that were crazy kept coming in so we decided to leave and go to another place called Alure, now that was fun....it was crazy there were so many people there and it was nice I had saved up enough points that I could have a couple of drinks....so my friend and I were standing at the Bar waiting for our drinks. She handed me a shot glass that was full and some guy standing next to me hit my arm and my drink dumped all over the front of my shirt....I am really glad that the stain came out. It was crazy.... the guy felt horrible and paid for me a new drink and bought my friend one to so that was a bonus! I am just happy that the stain came out of the shirt! :)
Sunday we went to my moms house for a BBQ for my Birthday last week. It was so fun the kids played and we chatted. It is always nice to go over there for BBQ's and visiting. I love my family they are awesome! We had hamburgers and hot dogs, pasta salad and baked beans....my mom also made deviled eggs but forgot about them in the fridge so nobody had any. I limited myself to what I ate and made good choices...they also had a wonderful chocolate cake... I had a tiny sliver and a small scoop of ice cream. I always know my limits and what I can and can't fit into my daily points....I make sure to plan ahead. I am happy with my choices so I guess tonight I will see how it all paid off on the scale! Good things are awaiting me......I just know it! :) Peace Out until next time....... I will post how I did sometime tomorrow.

So last night was a little tough...I wasn't on my normal schedule of leave work pick up the boy go home...cook me something good to eat. It was a little off for the first time in over a week. My cousins little boy was turning 7 so we went to a skating rink for his birthday party. We all know what is at Birthday parties.... pizza, soda, cake, ice cream.... I planned for the birthday party on my WW points however... and I went off soda over 3 weeks ago **proud moment** so I had the points. I ate a little pizza and had a couple of bites of the cake - I said no to the ice cream (my favorite) and of course no longer drink the soda..... all in all I think I did pretty good. The pizza however had no comparison to my yummy pizza I make at home on my "flatout bread"... YUM! I will have to post a picture the next time I make it...it is super yummy, low cal, low fat and high fiber type of yummy!

Last night was strange after we got home... I talked with a friend on facebook for awhile and that was fun and then about 9:30 there was a knock on the door...now anyone who knows me knows that I have kids who are usually in bed and that by that time I am trying to get a toddler to sleep.. but still knock..knock...knock...not only were they knocking but they were at my backdoor not my front door like expected for visitors who I don't know. I looked at my BF and said hey you gonna get that? I am a woman and it is late... I feel like a man should answer the door at that time of night if you answer at all.... So up he gets "annoyed" because I won't answer the door... well there on the other side of the door is a little old lady from across the road holding this

an entire pile of mint leaves.... My BF was of course thankful as she is elderly and she thought we could use them for tea....but holy crap I am not going to be drinking that much tea anytime soon.... I was kind of in shock and once he closed the door I burst out in laughter and couldn't stop....I should be nice however as it was the thought that counts... I did look online for recipes that I could make with fresh mint I found a website that had 11 different recipes to make with mint.... I don't know though... I might just give it to the kids they enjoyed eating it the last time she gave us some, however it was in way less quantity... hey thanks for the mint! LOL! Well tomorrow is my Birthday - I am going to be 34 ....holy crap how time flies.... I will blog some more tomorrow.

Weigh in Day

So yesterday was the day....the results from the start of my new journey... weigh in day. I lost 3.2 pounds. I am so proud of me for sticking to this and I know that I can do this. I won't let myself fail. This is what I had for dinner last night - it was soooo good! Homemade Mandarin Orange Chicken Salad. I have found a new love for baby spinach and it tastes so good in my salads.

I even let the family have a taste and I think they were jealous because the scrambled eggs they were having were not as good as my tasty salad. The only thing I am finding hard is getting in all my points everyday. So many things I eat are less than 3 points so getting up to how many I am allowed makes it difficult. I am eating more and more vegetables and fruits then anything and I love it. There are some things I need to cut back on that I have eaten and probably shouldn't but I know that and know what changes I need to take to get to what I have set out to do. Everyday is a new day and I can wake up and say that I CAN DO THIS...... I can have a new outlook everyday and I choose to look for the positive in everything that I can.
This week is going to be a busy one, I have a Birthday party tonight for my cousin and then Thursday is my Birthday <3 Happy Birthday to me.... and then Saturday night I am going out with some girls from work...I am so excited! Then Sunday we are doing a Birthday dinner.... I am going to eat really good all day on Sunday so that I can have something yummy for dinner, we are going to Joe's Crab Shack....not my all time favorite but it is good and they have a place for the kids to play.... all in all busy week but fun week.... I will post again tomorrow. :) Amy

~Wii Fit ~ WW ~

Last night I decided to pull out the Wii Fit, I leave it under the couch and usually that is where it stays. I know that I need to excercise and what better way then to do it in the comfort of my own home in front of my TV - one of the reasons I got the way I am.....! Now I love my Wii Fit but that little sucker can be sooo MEAN - I turn it on and step on and it says to me "I see you haven't been here for 27 days".... I know almost a month! I wanted to punch the little sucker in the face, but since it doesn't have a face decided I should just work out. I started out trying to beat another score on some game you have to roll the little person in a ball down a river it is a balance game. I was really off balance, I feel off the board onto the floor trying to beat the old score. So I decided to do some step areboics which is so much fun on the Wii! Then I went into game options and realized that there was a boxing game which I had never tried before... so I decided to play - at first I really sucked. I must not follow directions very well then I realized I was supposed to step off the board before I punched the bag and then back on! It was so fun it reminded me of days when I used to do Tae Bo. I can't wait to get home tonight and turn it on again. Needless to say I did 20 minutes on the Wii, which is probably the most excercise I have gotten in quite awhile.
WW - I caved! I have to be accountable, I need meetings to help me with support and motivation. I joined again on Monday of this week. I wasn't going to because I know all the tools and how to do the program, but what I don't have is the support and motivation needed to stick with it. The girl I met in class the first night who also had just joined again said the same thing it isn't the knowledge it is everything else. I also don't have anything to keep me accountable other than me and I know how I got to where I am "ME".... so I joined up on Monday. I am not telling anyone in my family or my friends only because I want to show them the results first. (Besides my BFF who will for sure read this blog). Then if anyone asks I will say "I went back to WW". I am proud of my decision and think that it is the right decision for me. Plus I really like the new "monthly pass" it allows you not only to go to weekly meetings and weigh in once a week you also get everything online all the e-tools, before when I had joined you didn't get all the online things unless you paid for the online. Now for a reasonable price - "the price of life" you get them all - FABULOUS! I am so excited and I love the online tools they have already been a great resource for tracking my points and giving me healthy ideas. I can't wait to see how Monday goes.... :)

The Weekend...

I was so excited to wake up on Saturday to see how Jen had done - Jen@priorfatgirl.com, then I read her post and was saddened to find out about her Mom who was tragically killed in an auto accident. How tragic and sad, and how much does it make you realize that you should always tell your family you love them as you never know what can happen. My heart goes out to Jen and her family. I don't "know" Jen other than through the blogging world and she was actually my inspiration to start blogging my journey after I read one of her blogs that I had run across. I am keeping her family in my prayers as my heart goes out to them.

---Other than my sadness from Jen's blog my weekend was pretty good. On Friday night I went to my friends house and hung out for awhile, it is alwasy nice to get away from the house as it gives me the chance to breathe sometimes. My house can get so busy and crazy it is always nice to have an out and be able to have some fun with friends. Saturday was a blast, I went to my Dad's work and took the family. It is always fun to go since we get to see where works and they feed you lunch. You do have to watch what they feed you though. I had a hamburger minus the bun and a few chips...they didn't really have any "good salad" so I skipped the pasta and the potato that they did have. I did break down this weekend and got some coffee from my favorite coffee shop "Monkey Brew" but I didn't have much else that day so it was not so bad, it was a fun time on Saturday and then after my cousin came over and took the kids swimming so that was nice too! Sunday was the long awaited family reunion - we only have them once every 2 years, so it was nice to see the family. I am glad it is over though, it was busy and we were in charge. I did have some yummy chicken and tons of fruit...there were plenty of fruit bowls. It was a good time, I hung out with some of my favorite cousins and we had so much to chat about. We left after my Uncle started shouting at the kids. He can be such a Jerk - I have known this since I was 13 years old and he decided to call me a "bitch".... Hello!!! I was 13 years old who does that kind of thing? It's okay I had to announce a few things at the reunion and made sure I stood right behind him and shouted....it was pretty funny! I know it sounds mean, but sometimes you got to do what you go to do. I get to weigh in tonight! I will let everyone know how it goes...hopefully it will go good.... I can't wait to find out if I have done enough! Hugs!

Lunch away from work entertainment today!

So today for lunch I went with a friend to the Nordstrom rack...Wow talk about some expensive things in there. Found the cutest sunglasses they were $65.00. I can't imagine spending that much on some sunglasses...with having a 2 year old the last thing I need is expensive glasses. So we wandered around the store found some really cute things but it sucks going to a store were 90% of the items in the store won't fit you. It was alright though they had some cute shoes, lots of nice perfume and it was fun to get away from the office. We decided to stop by Hogi Yogi so she could grab a sandwich, I brought a chicken pita wrap - YUM! However I did cave and grabbed a "Diet" Dr. Pepper at Hogi Yogi....it is my first soda in 3 days and it is "Diet"...so that is pretty good to start out getting off the "SODA"! I am just proud that I passed up all the yummy frozen yogurts with candy toppings.... watching the guy make my co-workers sandwich however has been the most entertaining part of my entire day! I have never seen anything like it before... first he cut the bread in 1/2 however missed the 1/2 way mark and gave her the smallest part of the bread...when he put the mustard and mayonnaise on I was fascinated it was like he was creating art on it using the bottles and only giving her a small amount she had to ask for more... he piled on the meat and then the bacon and as I was watching him slice the avocado on top - I got the giggles... it was so funny. He was slicing it so slowly and I kept watching it fall off and he would place it back on the side that already had all kinds of meat and cheese....fall off ... put back on...fall off - so needless to say when he put the onions, cucumbers, olives on top I just couldn't hold back.... I was laughing out loud. He didn't know I was taping him via my phone either which made it even funnier for me... so all in all I got exercise by watching the guy make this from all the laughing I was doing.

So today has been a good day. I think I am going to avoid the scale tonight and wait until Monday morning. However I might go swimming tonight with a friend.... :) I have a huge weekend ahead of me and I am planning already what to take to avoid eating the wrong things. Saturday we are going to a BBQ at my Dad's work and they always have tons of food so maybe I will just fill up on a yummy protein filled smoothie and lots of water before I go, that way I will be less hungry, at least they have veggies! Sunday is our Family Reunion that we only have every 2 years, they are having Fried Chicken and tons of fattening things. I am going to take some grilled chicken to eat and then I know they will have fruit bowls and I am taking lots of water since it is going to be HOT! I am sure I will let everyone know how it goes...wish me luck! :)

The scale......

So I have been dreading getting on the scale again.... I knew I had gained some weight since I stopped doing things for "ME".... But I didn't realize how much!!! Well that is the whole reason for this new part of my life and this new journey. So I am glad I am starting over and this time I am going to do it because I have set my mind to it and it is a goal and I am planning from now on to meet my goals.

Before I forget head over to Jen’s fab contest on priorfatgirl.com. She’s giving away an EatingWell Diet cookbook and the cutest apron EVER. So make sure you visit her site and post a comment or post this in your blog so you to have the chance to WIN!


Today I brought the best lunch to work. I mean Yummy! Look how good it looks.... Chicken, green beans & zucchini... and fresh strawberries. My friend thought it looked good so she shared some of the green beans and she agreed that it was good. I have also been drinking nothing but tea and water for the last 3 days. I am proud of myself for this accomplishment because I am finally getting off the soda... and I don't mean diet soda...I mean regular plain old yummy coke and pepsi ...soda....okay you can laugh but I enjoy a nice 32 oz coke almost daily and eating out. I feel I have finally made an accomplishment. I haven't eaten out all week breakast, lunch or dinner and NO SODA! I am proud of ME~! I am finally to that point where I have realized that not much matters other than me and if I can't change for me then when will I ever change.....this I am doing for me and no one else. I have also gotten in all my yummy water today so I am proud of that accomplishment too! I am loving this new way of eating and thinking and can't wait for the days to come to see what they bring to my life!

Last Weekend

So last weekend we went to Lava Hot springs. It was an okay trip, short and expensive. I was having an okay time just lots of drama when you go camping with people who don't have any experience with kids being around....they tend to not realize that girls are going to yell and scream and be girls when you are camping and outdoors. Oh well such is life you just learn who you can and can't go camping with and when to take kids and when not to take them. The Hot springs were nice, but I think I like going better in the fall/winter than the Summer. It was almost to hot to be in them with the 90 degree weather outside and 104 degree Hot springs it makes it a little toasty however relaxing at the same time. They have a river there and a lot of people ride down the river on tubes. I think that would have been better.... however, this time we didn't get to go down the river. I have done it before and had so much fun, maybe next time I will be able to do it.

Things in my life lately have been a little out of wack so the diet over the weekend didn't go really well. However today I have made a plan to not eat out for the entire week and drink no soad, wish me luck. I have only drank water today and had the best smoothie this morning. YUM! Then I had a Lean Cuisine meal, it was pretty good. I am trying to not eat out and packaged meals or left overs are the best things for me at work. I can do this and what better time then now to start taking care of ME? This is my life and I need to make it work for me.

Lunch today with friends

So today I went to lunch with friends. It was uplifiting and fun, I enjoy seeing them however have discovered that we should have chosen a different restraunt for many reasons. This particular place we went is always changing the price on anything you get. You look at the price in the menu get the bill and something is always wrong. I think for next time we will choose a new place to get together as this one just isn't working out like it used to. I also decided there is absolutely nothing on the menu healthy. I guess what do I expect when it comes to Mexican food, but hey I was hoping. I got back from lunch and wondered why I go to these places and make these choices. I know I wanted to go to lunch with friends but after really thinking about it, I should have brought some lunch to work with me...ate in the office and then went and had a drink or something. I tend to eat out a lot....no excuses. I love food. I think my issue is that food is something I turn to when I have nothing else to turn to. I have decided that I am going to start turning to excercise. When I feel like eating (unhealthy foods) I am heading to the gym as often as possible. I am making it my goal to get to the gym at least 3 times a week. I don't want to be this person forever and I need to do something to make a change and finally make "ME" happy for a change. I am so used to doing things for other people and making them happy that I need to take the time for myself and figure out me....I am tired of taking care of everyone else. I can't live this way forever. I have a 2 year old to think about and I want him to grow up with his Mommy. This is where the new "ME" thinking has come in and I want to be there for him and be healthy for him. I know I can do this .... so this is where my journey starts from my first blog to my last I am going to do this.